My heart stops.
Its been ages since I heard that voice.
My mind wonders if its really him but my heart chides softly-Of course it is!
And all of a sudden I start hyperventilating and seeing around my flat, I am in short-flabbergasted(an understatement). I call back,"Hold on a sec!" and quickly grab all I can in my both hands, tumbling over my sneakers and picking them up again somehow, I scramble to reach my store room and dump everything there. After a quick review of my now-normal rooms, I ran to the door, falling again-now at the door almost(whew..Thank god the door's closed..Somehow gravity attracts me more when this man is around). I muse, shake my head and stand, taking a deep breath in and opening the door.
And its like-whoosh! Someone's taken the breath out of me!
I start from his hair, looking soft and black as ever which falls rakishly over his blue eyes, twinkling as gently as ever. His smile is the same, soft chuckle as he sees my expression. He has grown a little stubble and a tan which suits him; denim and white shirt-Perfect! He yet seemed to have lost some weight and seemed to be little..Low? I dunno..But at that moment..I was lost..
"Ahem!" he coughs, bringing me back on the earth and I break away from my trance. "Oh hi!" I am surprised my voice comes out calm," Come on in!" I invite him, wondering if its okay. "Wow...Its been long time no? Almost three months! (three months 3 weeks two days 15 hours twenty five minutes and...55 seconds).. How come you are here?" I ask, trying to avoid his scrutinizing gaze away from me. He steps in as I glance at myself in the mirror in front and I'm like..Shit..I look a mess..Like COMPLETE MESS!! I am in my shorts and the world's biggest shirt and its as if m totally drowned in it..And my hair is open, ruffled and..a MESS! Godd..It had to happen now??Seriously??
Before I could complete my thoughts I see him behind me in the mirror, an amused yet affectionate looks on his face.
"Hello? Say something na!!" I say. "Oh..Yeah..I had some work to do and you were the only one I knew here in London, So I came! Nice place by the way!" He nods and makes himself seated on the couch(my favorite red couch)looking so comfortable and homely...Ahh..Am I drooling? Back to business..
"You want something Arjun?" I ask..feeling out of place...
"Maybe some coffee and...."He mumbles something I don't catch. "What?" "Nothing!" he hurriedly says and picks up the remote to switch channels. I shake my head and walk towards to kitchen.
I remember why I had walked away. He seemed to be a little too perfect at everything..Making me smile..Sigh..Giggle..Blush..Kissing away my tears..Respecting my parents..Tolerating my mood swings every month..Everything..He just seemed too perfect.
And I was scared of perfection..Scared where love came..Scared by the realities..And so I left him..And a piece of me..
My life had been a roller coaster ride back then..Having more downs than ups..and suddenly he shows up..Changing everything..I was a meticulous person..But since the say I returned leaving him..my life(I realize it now) behind..I had changed. I remembered the day he had said those magical three words that had brought tears of happiness to my eyes as we lay together. I was the one with such a block in my mind and heart that my ego mattered to me a lot and I didn't have the guts to go back, and I wondered if he still loved me, still wanted me..
Sighing..I place the mugs on the tray and turn to leave when I see him standing in the way and looking at my through those electric blue eyes of his that made me breathless.
"Do you want something Arj?" his nickname..That I used to call him with slipped out before I could stop it and I shuffled my feet uncomfortably. He walked towards me..Almost proprietorially so that I had to back towards the platform of my kitchen. He put his hands on both my sides, taking away the tray and I was now blocked between him and the platform. "What?" I mumble nervously, not daring to look into his eyes. He puts his hands under my chin, forcing me to look at him. "Yes..I want something..",he said in a soft voice and continued, "I want you.."
I couldn't believe it.."Arj but.." "No buts.." he said firmly," Just one question..Do you love me? Cuz I can see it in your eyes..You've got eye bags and your eyes are swollen and red..I still love you..The way your hair looks when you wake up, the way you scrunch up your lil nose when you think, the way you help people out of your way, the way you blush, the way you were at my house back in Boston, the way you move around the kitchen so beautifully and gracefully..I can picture you..I everyday pictured you in mine..Did you miss me? Do you love me? Will you marry me? Will you.."
I pulled away..Gasping for some air and seeing his eyes shine like anything I sighed and said, "Since the day I returned..Nothing has been the same..I lost my job..I never slept..and when I did, I dreamed about you..I cried all the time..never stepping outside my flat once.." I shook my head ruefully and looking at him with tears I continued," I didn't have the strength to return and tell you that I was a fool. M sorry..And yes..I will marry you, raise our family..and be with you.." I hugged him promising to him and to myself never to part again..Till death do us apart.